The art of saying no
The constant need to please people as a business owner and founder sometimes surprises me. Why is it, even when everything screams to say no, do I find myself saying yes?
Ideate
I recently had an enquiry through to my business. The work would have been stressful, I would have made little to no profit from it and it would have taken me away from projects that I am beyond passionate about.
Why then, even when it is clear that saying no is not only the sensible but right option, do I question if I should say yes?
Iterate
Not to get too psychological today but from my research, like many things to do with Psychology, this normally comes back to childhood for lots of people.
It could be, (especially if you are a founder) that you struggle with the idea of turning work down because who knows when the next inquiry will come? The fear of not having an income can override our desire to say no.
Not wanting to disappoint others can hold many of us back from saying no or that you are seeking approval from others instead of yourself.
It’s also not unreasonable to assume that in childhood saying no could have been considered a sign of disrespect, so you learned to say yes.
Maybe you simply feel that you didn’t get love, for just being you and so you said yes to please others (heavy, I know).
Regardless of the reason, being unable to say no can make our lives far more challenging than it needs to be. So, what do we do about it? My suggestion? Prune anything unnecessary away.
What do I mean by prune? Imagine a rose bush. From January to March every year, gardeners around the UK will cut their rose bushes back to what looks like, to the untrained eye, a few sticks in the ground. This act of removing the dead parts, the debris, the diseased areas, allows the plant to focus on health. To grow, unchained by elements of itself that would otherwise restrict it.
Look after yourself and your business; prune away the parts of you that no longer serve you and make a pledge to practice saying no (when you need to!) from today. You will be beyond shocked at how saying no, can accelerate you both personally and professionally to new heights.
To quote a good friend of mine “Grow through what you go through”.
Implement
🧠 Do you struggle to say no? If so, why?
🧠 How can you stop saying “yes” blindly to everything?
If you’re interested in this topic, here are some helpful (I think) links!
Wintering is a fantastic book on mental health but also addresses the idea of pruning each winter!